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Why We Love Children
I was driving with my three young children one warm summer
evening when a woman in the convertible ahead of us stood up
and waved. She was stark naked! As I was reeling from the shock,
I heard my five-year-old shout from the back seat, "Mom! That lady
isn't wearing a seat belt!"
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My son Zachary, 4, came screaming out of the bathroom to tell me
he'd dropped his toothbrush in the toilet. So I fished it out and
threw it in the garbage. Zachary stood there thinking for a moment,
then ran to my bathroom and came out with my toothbrush. He held
it up and said with a charming little smile, "We better throw this
one out too then, 'cause it fell in the toilet a few days ago'."
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On the first day of school, a first grader handed his teacher a
note from his mother. The note read, "The opinions expressed
by this child are not necessarily those of his parents."
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A woman was trying hard to get the catsup to come out of the jar.
During her struggle the phone rang so she asked her four-year old
daughter to answer the phone. "It's the minister, Mommy," the child
said to her mother. Then she added, "Mommy can't come to the phone
to talk to you right
now. She's hitting the bottle."
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A little boy got lost at the YMCA and found himself in the women's locker room.
When he was spotted, the room burst into shrieks, with ladies grabbing
towels and running for cover. The little boy watched in amazement and
then asked, "What's the matter haven't you ever seen a little boy before?"
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POLICE # 1
While taking a routine vandalism report at an elementary school,
I was interrupted by a little girl about six years old. Looking up
and down at my uniform, she asked, "Are you a cop?" "Yes," I answered
and continued writing the report. "My mother said if I ever needed
help I should ask the police. Is that right?" "Yes, that's right,"
I told her. "Well, then,"she said as she extended her foot toward
me, "would you please tie my shoe?"
POLICE # 2
It was the end of the day when I parked my police van in front of
the station. As I gathered my equipment, my K-9 partner, Jake, was
barking, and I saw a little boy staring in at me. "Is that a dog
you got back there?" he asked. "It sure is," I replied. Puzzled,
the boy looked at me and then towards the back of the van. Finally
he said, "What'd he do?"
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ELDERLY
While working for an organization that delivers lunches to elderly shut-ins,
I used to take my four-year-old daughter on my afternoon rounds. She
was unfailingly intrigued by the various appliances of old age, particularly the
canes, walkers and wheelchairs. One day I found her staring at a pair of
false teeth soaking in a glass. As I braced myself for the inevitable
barrage of questions, she merely turned and whispered, "The tooth fairy will
never believe this!"
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DEATH
While walking along the sidewalk in front of his church, our minister heard the
intoning of a prayer that nearly made his collar wilt. Apparently, his five-year-old
son and his playmates had found a dead robin. Feeling that proper
burial should be performed, they had secured a small box and cotton batting,
then dug a hole and made ready for the disposal of the deceased. The minister's
son was chosen to say the appropriate prayers and with sonorous dignity
intoned his version of what he thought his father always said:
"Glory be unto the Faaaather. and unto the Sonnn..... and into the hole
he gooooes."
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SCHOOL
A little girl had just finished her first week of school. "I'm just
wasting my time," she said to her mother. "I can't read, I can't
write and they won't let me talk!"
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BIBLE
A little boy opened the big family bible. He was fascinated as he fingered through
the old pages. Suddenly, something fell out of the Bible. He picked
up the object and looked at it. What he saw was an old leaf that had
been pressed in between the pages. "Mama, look what I found", the boy called
out. "What have you got there, dear"? With astonishment in the young
boy's voice, he answered, "I think it's Adam's underwear.