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We Are Different: Male-Female
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Anonymous-Via the net
MEN AND WOMEN COMPARED NICKNAMES: If Laura, Suzanne, Debra
and Rose go out for lunch, they will call each other Laura, Suzanne, Debra
and Rose. If Mike, Charlie, Bob and John go out, they will affectionately
refer to each other as Fat Boy, Godzilla, Peanut-Head and Scrappy.
EATING OUT: When the bill arrives, Mike, Charlie, Bob and John will each
throw in $20, even though it's only for $32.50. None of them will have
anything smaller, and none will actually admit they want change back.
When the girls get their bill, out come the pocket calculators.
MONEY: A man will pay $2 for a $1 item he wants. A woman will pay $1 for
a $2 item that she doesn't want.
BATHROOMS: A man has six items in his bathroom: a toothbrush, comb, shaving
cream, razor, a bar of soap, and a towel from the Holiday Inn. The average
number of items in the typical woman's bathroom is 337. A man would not
be able to identify most of these items.
ARGUMENTS: A woman has the last word in any argument. Anything a man says
after that is the beginning of a new argument.
CATS: Women love cats. Men say they love cats, but when women aren't looking,
men kick cats.
FUTURE: A woman worries about the future until she gets a husband. A man
never worries about the future until he gets a wife.
SUCCESS: A successful man is one who makes more money than his wife can
spend. A successful woman is one who can find such a man.
MARRIAGE: A woman marries a man expecting he will change, but he doesn't.
A man marries a woman expecting that she won't change and she does.
DRESSING UP: A woman will dress up to go shopping, water the plants, empty
the garbage, answer the phone, read a book, and get the mail. A man will
dress up for weddings and funerals.
NATURAL: Men wake up as good-looking as they went to bed. Women somehow
deteriorate during the night.
OFFSPRING: Ah, children. A woman knows all about her children. She knows
about dentist appointments and romances, best friends, favorite foods,
secret fears and hopes and dreams. A man is vaguely aware of some short
people living in the house.
THOUGHT FOR THE DAY: Any married man should forget his mistakes. There's
no use in two people remembering the same thing.