101 Little Instructions for Surviving Your Divorce
If Only Life After Divorce came With Instructions!

"I felt like Humpty Dumpty after his fall," was how Jane described her life after her divorce.

For Tony it was more like suddenly finding everything he'd believed in and committed himself to little more than "a deck of cards that had been scattered in a game of 52-card pickup."

Divorce can be a shattering experience, leaving your trust, hopes, expectations, and feelings scattered on a rough surface of painful memories, jagged realizations, and sharp challenges. When the "I do's" become "I don'ts," you'd sure appreciate a little friendly hand-holding through the daunting maze of court procedures and the "what now?" aftermath of ending your marriage.

Take heart. The parts of your life that felt broken after your divorce can be reassembled into a new, healthy whole. Some practical tools and realistic expectations are required. (Tip #1: "Divorce is not an event, it's a process. Whether it takes three weeks, three months, or three years, nothing will be solved immediately. Take a deep breath and relax as much as you can.")

"At its best," says Barbara J. Walton, a practicing attorney in Meadville, Pennsylvania, "divorce is a legal untangling of ties between a husband and a wife." What usually surprises her "are not the facts of the case, but the extent to which the parties either destroy each other or themselves in the process." (Tip #31: "Why is it we can be friendly and smile at perfect strangers . . . but we can't even use ordinary civility to a person we used to love deeply?")

Having "been there" many times with her clients, Walton understands the value of compassionate, commonsense advice served up in brief nuggets for quiet contemplation. She wrote 101 LITTLE INSTRUCTIONS FOR SURVIVING YOUR DIVORCE: A NO-NONSENSE GUIDE TO THE CHALLENGES AT HAND (Impact Publishers, Inc.) to help those going through divorce to approach the breakup without breaking down.

Walton's warm, experienced guidance, framed in the style of Life's Little Instruction Book, addresses these critical issues, among others:

• Custody - Tip #18: "Visit your children, even if the custodial parent makes it difficult"
• Support - Tip #69: "Pay your support."
• Property and Finances - Tip #78: "The more you fight over 'stuff,' the more money goes out of your pockets and into the pockets of the attorneys."
• What to expect In the Courtroom - Tip #59: "What will happen in the courtroom is like having painful but necessary surgery - without anesthesia"

Each "instruction" encourages rebuilding after divorce with hope and practical thinking. Walton's engaging style invites readers to "read some portion of the book, then think about what's been said, and compare it with your own situation. Not everything will apply to your case. But common sense and practical thinking will surely lead you to your healthiest conclusion."

Barbara J. Walton has been licensed as an attorney since 1986, practicing in the area of family law. A child of divorce, she is also a single mother, so she has personal as well as professional knowledge of the many issues involved. She advocates a commonsense approach based on her observation of long-term effects of the legal process on both adults and children.

101 LITTLE INSTRUCTIONS FOR SURVIVING YOUR DIVORCE is available from online booksellers and local bookstores or directly from Impact Publishers, Inc. at 800-246-7228.

101 LITTLE INSTRUCTIONS FOR SURVIVING YOUR DIVORCE:
A No-Nonsense Guide to the Challenges at Hand
by Barbara J. Walton
128 pages -- Trade paperback
ISBN: 1-886230-24-2 -- September 1999 -- $12.95

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