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When Life is a Mess
by Wayne Bartelt
When our life is a mess, we can always invoke the Charlie Brown
philosophy: there is no problem so great that it cannot be avoided.
Unfortunately, that advice only works for cartoon characters.
There was a time when Jane Mickelson would have laughed at the title of
this article. At 32, her dreams were about to come true. In two months
she would be married to the love of her life. There was only one dark
cloud: Jane was two months pregnant. That bothered her. She kept
thinking that she had committed a sin and wondered if God would punish
her.
Then tragedy struck. Her fiancé, Dan, was in a terrible accident.
He
died. Jane was inconsolable. Her dreams were shattered; life hardly
seemed worth living. Ten days after Dan died she miscarried.
Jane blamed herself. If she would not have gotten pregnant, none of this
would have happened. If she would not have grieved, but accepted God’s
will, the baby would not have died. It was all her fault. She knew that
she would pay for it for the rest of her life. Her life was a mess. She
didn’t know what to do.
Jane’s friends tried to console her. "Time heals all wounds",
they said.
They assured her that God has good things in store for her. Jane was not
comforted.
Only Mary, one of Jane’s closest friends, spoke differently. Accepting
God’s will is important, but Jane should first learn from this tragedy
what kind of a Christian she was, and then, show her loved ones and
friends how a Christian grows in the face of tragedy.
We don’t have to mess up our lives in order to find out what kind
of
Christians we are, but for some that seems to be the only way. They pick
the wrong friends and spend more time partying than in church. The talk
around them is geared to the latest TV sitcom that considers extra
marital affairs a sport. Suicide is praised as an alternative to the
pain of living with sickness. Drunkenness is condoned as a disease
rather than a choice. They absorb these concepts and accept them. Then,
when adultery, drunkenness and suicide intrude in their lives, they
blame God. They wonder, "How could this have happened to me?"
Of course, when our life is a mess, we can always invoke the Charlie
Brown philosophy: there is no problem so great that it cannot be
avoided. Unfortunately, that advice only works for cartoon characters.
Jonah didn’t like his assignment from the Lord so he went on a cruise;
he got as far as the belly of a big fish. When Saul (Paul) got busy
persecuting Christians, God struck him blind so he could see the light.
Judas tried to run away from himself, but his melancholy drove him to
a
tree on the outskirts of Jerusalem.
There is no running away. Shattered lives do not mend themselves.
Healing a broken marriage requires love, the kind of love we can only
learn from Christ. Disagreements with friends demand the sacrifice of
pride and arrogance. The struggles of life that tear at our insides are
healed by humility, repentance and forgiveness, all gifts of God’s
grace. From hardship comes strength.
The first manufactured golf balls had smooth covers. When it was
discovered that a roughed up ball could get more distance, they started
manufacturing them with dimpled covers. It’s like that with life.
It
takes some bruising to make you go your farthest. It takes a dark cave
to make you appreciate the light. Consciousness of your own weakness
persuades you to turn to the Lord’s power.
That’s what Jane Mickelson did - she went to the Lord Jesus and got
the
surprise of her life. The more she turned to Him, the more her attention
centered on Him rather than on her troubles. Of course, it wasn’t
easy.
It took time. While she still mourns for Dan and the baby, she
realizes that God permitted heartache so that she could grow in faith
and dedicate her life to Him more completely.
As the weeks and months passed, the change in Jane began to make an
impression on those around her. Her life was no longer a shambles. There
was no more self pity. Her smiles became more frequent, her outlook more
positive.
When friends at work compliment her on her fortitude and acceptance, she
readily admits, "I am no longer alone; Jesus is with me." She
tells
anyone who will listen, "My strength comes from two Bible passages
my
pastor read at Dan’s funeral service." We are hard pressed on
every
side, but not crushed; perplexed, but not in despair; persecuted, but
not abandoned; struck down, but not destroyed..... No, in all these
things we are more than conquerors through him who loved us. (2
Corinthians 4:8-9 and Romans 8:37) For the first time in her life, Jane
is not afraid to talk about God’s power to turn despair into hope,
dread
into courage and doubt into conviction.
Once she opened her heart to Jesus, He became a full-fledged partner in
her life. He measured her losses against her faith and compensated with
gifts more valuable than anything on earth.
Though she was encouraged to do so, Jane never married. She might,
someday, she says. For now, her life is filled with purpose,
satisfaction in her job and dedication to her Lord. She looks forward
to
each day as a new day of Gods grace. She knows what kind of a Christian
she is, and so do others.