Teach a Man to Fish
By Evan Marc Katz
“Give a man a fish; you have fed him for today. Teach a man
to fish; and you have fed him for a lifetime”—Author
unknown
Should you pay your hard-earned money to get assistance writing the most
personal of statements – the online dating profile essays? As the
CEO of E-Cyrano, it’s not my place to say, but rather to give you
the tools to make your own decision.
Below are The Top Ten Ways to Improve Your Profile. If you read this and
feel moved to make some changes to your profile, hurry up and do it while
you’re still inspired. Think that it’s way too much stuff
to have to think about? Then read to the end and find out how all you
have to do is answer a long questionnaire and this baby pretty much writes
itself…
Without further ado, The Top Ten Ways to Improve Your Profile:
You’re writing for an audience. Don’t forget it.
– Ever hear of T.M.I.? Too Much Information? Just because you think
of something doesn’t mean you should say it here. Want to date a
hottie and nothing but a hottie? Don’t say it, just do it. Leading
with your superficial side has never helped anyone.
Adjectives mean nothing. Anyone can write a similar list:
nice, smart, kind, warm, funny, honest, successful, ambitious, family-oriented.
If I can write that, and you can write that, and your mom can write that,
how are we any different? Turn those adjectives into anecdotes and your
profile may actually sound different than every other well-intentioned
adjective writer out there.
Activities mean nothing, too. You might think you’re
writing something specific when you list your interests: “hiking,
biking, movies, music, travel,” but really – don’t most
people dig this stuff, too? If you’re going to mention something,
make it as specific as possible. Where do you hike? What’s your
favorite movie? What’s the city you’re just dying to visit
one day?
Ask yourself: “Can anybody else say the same exact thing?”
You want a person who is honest? You like to laugh? You’re done
playing games? Join the crowd. Better yet, come up with a more creative
way to express these same sentiments.
Leave the clichés to everyone else. Listen, I
think it’s cool that you “work hard and play hard”,
are “equally comfortable in a little black dress and a pair of jeans”,
and “are looking for your best friend and partner in crime”,
but so is the next person on my search list. And the next person. And
the next…
Watch the bragging. You can talk about yourself at great
length without sounding like you’re showing off, but it’s
a fine line. Avoid subjective evaluations such as “I’m very
attractive/intelligent/funny” and focus on illustrating the same
points. Your picture will let me know that you’re attractive. Your
grammar and diction will indicate that you’re intelligent. Your
humor will come across in your essays. Show us, don’t tell us.
Nobody responds to negativity. If you’re depressed,
fed-up, lonely, frustrated, or just out of a relationship, you may want
to wait until you’re in a better place before you date online. If
you can stay upbeat and have fun writing your profile, people are likely
to have fun reading it.
Don’t define yourself by what you don’t want.
So you’ve dated enough people to determine that you don’t
want someone who’s a liar, who is grossly overweight, or who is
chronically unemployed. Congratulations. Turn those negatives into positives
or just leave ‘em out. People shouldn’t feel personally indicted
by your essays.
One word: spell-check. Write your profile on a Word document,
spell-check it, then cut and paste it onto the site. Note: a lot is two
words, definitely doesn’t have an “a”, and you’re
is a contraction meaning “you are”.
For the love of God, tell the truth. If you don’t,
you’re destroying any future trust you may have tried to build up,
and you’re giving all the honest online daters a bad name.
For help on your profile, photos, and everything else that affects
your online dating experience, call 1-866-432-9726 and let me know you’re
a friend of Single Again. For more information about my services, please
go to www.evanmarckatz.com.
I look forward to speaking with you soon.
E-Cyrano poll:
What are the biggest problems that you seen in other people’s profiles?
Too generic – the lists of adjectives and clichés can describe
anybody
Too short – a couple of lines, as if the person had a bus to catch.
Too much information – the person goes on and on but is so relentlessly
boring that you tune out.
Too negative – whether berating an ex or demanding too much from
a stranger, not a good move
None of the above - Profiles? Who reads profiles?