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Prescription for a Broken Heart
By Alina Ruigrok
Being heartbroken is a pain that no one can understand until they have experienced it for themselves. You obviously have, therefore are aware of how fragile your heart is right now. Healing a broken heart will take time, but is not impossible, though it may feel that way at the time. It is never an easy process to go through, but with the right prescription, you will be on your way to recovery and happiness again.
The first thing you should keep in mind is that it
is okay to feel sad and grieve about what happened and that you are not
stupid
for doing so. It is perfectly normal to feel sad and cry after a break
up. You
have invested most of your time and all of your love and interest into
your
ex-partner; therefore will go through a sad and painful withdrawal. It
is
notable that you not grieve all on your own. Sure, there will be times
when you
will just want to be alone and undisturbed. However, it is important that
you
talk to your friends and family about it. Talking about it is not only
healthy,
but will mend your heart quicker because you will release the thoughts
and facts
that are hurting you so much. Seeking professional advice will be a great
help
to you as well because your mind will open up and see new perspectives
and
understandings of what happened. It will help you gather your strength,
pick
yourself up, and find the happiness you deserve to have.
Accepting the fact that you and your ex-partner are
no longer together is a necessity if you are going to start mending your
broken
heart. If you catch yourself unable to function due to constantly thinking
about
your ex or repeatedly calling or visiting him or her for another chance,
then
chances are you are suffering from love addiction and should seek counseling.
Discontinuing a serious relationship is emotionally challenging and can
drive
you to do things that are unhealthy for your self-being. To avoid entering
such
hazardous areas, keep yourself occupied. Go out with your friends and
family to
help get your mind off the break up. It is best to spend as less time
alone as
you can in the first few weeks of your breakup so that your emotions can
slowly
and patiently form back into their normal pattern.
Fight the thoughts that tell you that you are a
failure and are to blame for the end of your relationship. When a relationship
ends it means that the two of you were no longer compatible and that always
takes two, not just you. Instead of beating yourself up over what has
transpired, examine your ex-relationship by listing the things you enjoyed
most
about it and then the things that disappointed you and what you believe
really
caused the breakup. Look at the relationship as a learning experience
and an
opportunity to improve your relationship skills, and a way to realize
what you
truly need and want from a romantic relationship.
Learning to forgive yourself and your ex-lover will
speed up the healing process for the reason that you will feel more peaceful
and
calm about it. Hating your ex will only build up tension and stress in
your
life, causing your emotions to slow down from getting back to order. One
way to
avoid bitterness against your ex-partner is to look at the breakup as
a favor.
Appreciate their honesty of no longer wanting to pursue the relationship,
instead of giving you high hopes for a possible future together. It is
always an
advantage to exit a relationship that had no chances to survive than to
be
misled.
Conquer your fear of being alone. You need to help
yourself understand that it is not abnormal to be on your own and that
your
values come from who are rather than whom you are with. Teach yourself
that
there is more to life than romantic relationships by spending quality
time with
your friends and family. Learn more about whom the other people in your
life are
and introduce more of yourself to them as well. Go out and do things together
and treat yourself to something you enjoy, whether it is your favorite
restaurant, shopping, going to the movies, or anything else. Learning
to you be
your own best friend will not only improve your relationship with yourself,
but
with others as well. As you begin to discover the other beauties of life
and
yourself, you will become more stable and stronger to face anything that
crosses
your path, such as a new relationship in the future.
Before you consider entering another relationship,
take a step back and ask yourself why you want to do so. Make sure that
you are
not entering a new relationship on a rebound. This will only leave you
with
unfinished emotions and you will never have closure from your former
relationship. Never begin a new relationship because you are afraid of
being on
your own, or feel the need to just be in a relationship. Form a relationship
with someone new because you feel strong and secure on your very own and
feel
that you are ready to attempt a new romance. Take it one step at a time
and keep
in mind of what your needs and desires are from a person and observe closely
to
see if they show signs of the qualities you are looking for. As soon as
you
notice that he or she is not, then get out of it as soon as possible.
Learning
from your previous relationships will come in very handy because you will
be
able to prevent similar situations in the future, leading you to meeting
the
people who fit your description of a perfect partner.
Lastly, remind yourself that love is a wonderful
feeling and experience and should not be generalized based on your past
experiences. Do not use facts about your ex as a way to judge new people
in your
life. Leave your past behind you and focus on moving ahead. Get to know
new
people for who they are, not by comparing them to others, what they are
not, or
what they could be. Once you have observed their personality, values and
everything else, trust yourself to make the right decisions without constantly
doubting yourself. If you wish to try having a new relationship, then
do so. If
you do not however, then do not feel guilty to kindly walk away from the
situation. You would be doing both you and the other a person a huge favor
and
saving time and emotions from being hurt. You have nothing to fear or
worry
about. After all, there will always be one person who will always love
you,
appreciate who you are and be there for you. . . and that is YOU.
Alina Ruigrok is an independent relationship expert
for http://www.love-sessions.com
helping those in need of dating, love, relationship, marital, sexual and
other
personal advice through e-sessions.