My Story
By Yvette
At 28 and with an 11 week-old baby the word widow was not in my
vocabulary.
It was Friday November 3rd, 2001. We planned to go out to eat and then
stop
at his mom's house to see the baby and then he was going out like usual
and
I was going home to sleep. Dinner was wonderful and he got to play with
the
baby for a little while. Leaving his mom's house we separated with the
usual kiss and be careful speech. At around 4:05 am the dog started to
stir
and so I figured he was home. Sometimes it was that late if he went to
get
breakfast with the others. Well he did not walk into the room and that
is
when I heard the knock on the door.
I went to answer it and my heart fell. A state trooper was at the door
asking if this was his residence. All I could say was "Tell me that he
is
alive". He said nothing. He asked to come in and talk to me. I went to
put some clothes on and sat on the couch. The trooper then told me that
there was an accident and that my husband was dead. I asked him what
happened and he said that another car was involved and they met head on.
Both were killed. The other person was only 20 years old. My husband was
only 32 and a new father. They still have not told me what happened for
sure. The boy was drinking and coming from a club, my husband was also
coming from a lounge.
The trooper called my mom to come over and waited with me until she got
there. My husband was an only child. The trooper would not send someone
to
tell his parents. I had to tell my in laws that there only son was dead.
That is something that I hope no one ever has to do. It broke my heart
all
over again.
Since the funeral I have moved in with my parents. I still have my house
but I have not been able to go back into the bedroom for extended periods
of
time. My folks have been great about helping with the baby. I am so scared
to be on my own. I have never been on my own, especially with a baby.
I am
taking things one day at a time, and doing the best that I can but it
is
hard.
I am mad. Mad at God, him and the other boy. Why him? Our baby is now
6
months old and I am not supposed to have to do this by myself. I don't
even
know if I can. I know that I don't want to. This sucks. But I hope that
it will get better with time and I hope that my child grows up well
adjusted, knowing that her daddy loved her and did not leave her of his
own
choice.
We made a costly mistake. He only had basic life insurance through his
company. We were looking into more life insurance when he died. All we
had
was the $10,000 policy from his work and an additional $10,000 accidental
death and dismemberment policy. The first one was wiped out by funeral
and
cemetery costs. The insurance is still investigating whether we will get
the accidental death and dismemberment policy.
I am slowly learning that I cannot make our daily bills just on my salary.
People tell me that that means that we lived above our means. I tried
to
explain to them that no we did not. We made all our bills and saved money
each month. The problem came when he died. He was the main moneymaker.
I
was laid off in July and then the baby was born in August and we had planned
for me to be out of work until the first of the year. When he died I had
just started working contract for a local company and was not making what
I
was before. I am now making about $2000.00 a month and he used to make
$4000.00. How does a person recoup that kind of income loss? I don't want
to lose my house. I already sold my truck. I loved that truck. It was
what I always wanted. We worked too hard for all that we have, but I make
a
little too much money for any kind of assistance. What does a person do?
I
can't get social security because I make too much a year. My daughter
gets
social security but even that little bit of money won't make up the
difference.
So at 29 years old, my daughter and I live with my parents and my house
is
rented. I love my parents and am grateful that they are there but I need
my
own space with my daughter. But what's there to do?
Yvette