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Why Romance Dies
by Rinatta Paries
Email:Content@WhatItTakes.com
Are you in a relationship where the flames of romance are
starting to go out? Or are you single and have a hard time
believing romance can last longer than a few months into a
relationship?
Romance is how most relationships begin. We anticipate being
with our partner, give flowers, write cards, shower each other
with attention and affection, stage seductions, etc. But
somewhere down the road, the romance begins to fade. It happens
so often that it seems ordinary, expected, natural.
But why? Don't we all -- men and women alike -- dream of an
eternal love affair? Don't we all enter into a relationship
hoping THIS person will be the one to love us for a lifetime?
Doesn't it feel wrong when romance fades? Don't you feel
somehow wrong when you no longer want to spend as much time with
your partner? When you are no longer as attentive, thoughtful?
Doesn't it feel wrong when your partner no longer does the nice
things he or she use to do?
It's not natural for romance to die in a relationship. After
all, isn't romance simply a way we appreciate, treasure and love
one another? Then as romance begins to fade, it is informing us
that our feelings for each other are begging to fade as well.
This often happens in the course of a relationship. We feel less
for our partner, we become numb, we wall up.
There are three major reasons why we feel less in a
relationship over time: disappointment, hurt and taking each
other for granted.
1. Disappointment
People and relationships disappoint us over time. There is no
way around it. In the beginning of a relationship we put our
partner up on a pedestal. Over time, as our partner reveals more
and more human characteristics, we get disappointed. With
disappointment, we feel less exited, less enthusiastic about our
partner.
2. Hurt
Hurt happens in every relationship -- more often in
relationships that aren't very good in the first place. We get
hurt over broken promises and forgotten occasions. We get hurt
by the things our partner says or does not say. We get hurt
about not getting our needs met. Hurt shuts us down and makes us
want to wall up.
3. Taking each other for granted
Ok, so you are in a relationship, maybe you are even married.
All the hard work is done, right? Your or your partner's focus
is elsewhere -- on your job, kids, friends, hobbies, etc. The
relationship will still be there, right?
And as you and your partner take each other for granted, you
create hurt and disappointment, again leading to diminished
feelings about each other.
Now you understand why romance fades in some relationships,
maybe even in your relationship. But what can you do about it?
What can you do to revive your feelings about each other and
bring romance back? Tune in next week to find out.
Your Relationship Coach,
Rinatta Paries
www.WhatItTakes.com
This article was originally published by Coach Rinatta Paries
in "The Relationship Coach Newsletter," a weekly e-zine for
people who want fulfilling relationships. For singles, the
newsletter will help you attract your Mr. or Ms. Right. If
you're in a relationship, you will learn to create more
closeness and intimacy with your mate. To subscribe, go to
www.WhatItTakes.com
Copyright Rinatta Paries, 1998-01