When Your Close Friends Move Away
Your best friend moves a thousand
miles, your aunt
retires or your brother's family gets transferred. They're
moving from Boise to Boston and you live in San Diego.
Moving is traumatic and you want to help,
yet you may
not know what you can do. Don't be shy. Your friend needs
you! Here are tips from my book, Making the Big Move
http://www.movinglady.com/book.html.
*Before people move, kindle enthusiasm by finding positive
things to say about the destination city.
"I've always wanted to live there."
"You'll be near the beach! I'm jealous."
"You can have a big dog."
*Think they're making a mistake? It's like talking to
someone who's getting married. Before they're engaged, you
want to be frank. Once they set the date, it's a love feast.
* If you host a farewell party, emphasize what's coming, not
what they're leaving.
*Give gifts that make the transition easier. Ideas? Gift
certificates to shops in your friend's new city.
Subscriptions to entertainment, cultural or sports events.
* If someone's really nervous, of if they're starting a new
job after the move, give the gift of growth. Many coaches
and counselors accept gift certificates, if the client is
enthused about doing the work.
* Call on packing day and moving day. Call when your friend
is due to arrive in his new home. Send letters and cards --
more tangible than email.
* Reinforce new choices. "Long walks in the country instead
of long treks down Fifth Avenue? Sounds great to me!"
* Reinforce deeper cultural identities. Newcomers may not
find others who share their religion, ethnic background or
even aesthetic values.
*If you visit, help your friend see what's good: "Terrific
shopping." "No traffic! A miracle!"
*Don't expect to be entertained elaborately when you visit.
Those who have recently moved will be short on money,
energy, and time.
* When do you cut the cord? Most people find they lose touch
with old friends after six months to a year. If your friend
is struggling, suggest a coach or counselor. Don't be
judgmental. Some places really are toxic to some people.
Bottom Line:
*Relocation is like setting out alone on an ocean voyage
with no Coast Guard available if you encounter a storm. A
ship carries sophisticated communication equipment and
remains in touch with home port.
*When a friend moves, you're the home port. Help your
friend and, if storms erupt, find specialists who can help.
Your friend will change and grow and, believe it or not,
your friendship will be richer and more satisfying after she
lands safely on the other shore.
Cathy Goodwin, Ph.D. Author, Career Consultant, Speaker
*When Career Freedom Means Business*
http://www.movinglady.com
mailto:Cathy@movinglady.com 505-534-4294
Making the Big Move http://www.movinglady.com/book.html