Writing Your Own Wedding Vows?
Posted: 5/10/2012
Some people feel that writing their own wedding vows makes them more personal, while others wouldn’t even consider a marriage to be official without traditional vows.
If you’re not sure whether you want to write your own vows or not, start by reading over the vows that your chosen wedding officiant normally uses. Do they make you well up with emotion or leave you flat? The answer will help you decide whether you need to provide your own input or not.
Many Sacramento wedding couples take their officiant’s vows and just modify them a bit, possibly to change the old-fashioned language of “man and wife” to “husband and wife”, and to make the wording more modern overall. But it’s possible that your Sacramento wedding officiant has already thought of that, and offers a both a modern and traditional version.
Should you decide that you want to write your own vows, don’t fly blind. There are books full of detailed descriptions, suggestions, guidelines, and inspiring examples to help you get started. Your wedding officiant may have a book like this to let you borrow, or you can find them at Engaged Wedding Library in Fair Oaks, where you can read the books on site and copy what you need from them. You’ll find dozens of other Sacramento bridal books and magazines at Engaged too.
No matter how much or little input you provide, as long as your vows are meaningful to you and your fiancé, that’s what counts.
Wellness For Life
In Praise of the Emerald Isle
Posted: 1/7/2012
The Emerald Isle is rich in wild natural beauty, quaint villages and a rich historical legacy. (NAPSI)—It’s not unusual for people to recommend a vacation destination, but when Queen Elizabeth II and President Barack Obama honored Ireland with their presence, travelers took note.
Visits by these dignitaries helped boost the number of tourists visiting Ireland by 15 percent, according to a recent Reuters article. Both visits took place within a matter of days, with the U.S. president commenting on his distant Irish ancestry and the queen being the first British regent to visit in a century.
Tourists figured these world travelers must know just how much Ireland has to offer.
There is so much to see on the Emerald Isle that many visitors prefer taking a coach tour so they won’t miss any of Ireland’s wild natural beauty, quaint villages or rich historical legacy.
CIE Tours International will feature three of more than 40 tours in 2012: the seven-day Southern Gems, the eight- or nine-day Irish Gold, and the 12- or 13-day Irish Classic, which all include a horse-drawn car ride through Killarney’s National Park; a traditional Irish evening of song, dance and perhaps a pint of Guinness; as well as breathtaking views from the top of the Cliffs of Moher.
Additionally, the Southern Gems tour includes a visit to the National Stud, where you will see prizewinning racehorses. The Irish Gold includes a dinner at the renowned Killeen House Restaurant in Killarney, and the Irish Classic tour includes a visit to Giant’s Causeway, with its astounding 60 million-year-old volcanic formed columns.
Several events on the calendar for 2012 will also draw visitors to Ireland.
• Lovers of nautical history and movie trivia may set a course for the “Remembering the Titanic” event in Belfast.
• Runners may want to participate in The Great Ireland Run, Ireland’s fastest-growing 10-km running event, in Phoenix Park, Dublin.
• Those who appreciate fine stitching may want to attend the first annual International Quilt Festival of Ireland, located in a special Quilter’s Village on the banks of the River Corrib.
When deciding on a tour, consider the benefits of all-inclusive travel. Read the fine print to see what is included in the tour price so you don’t face daily sales pitches for meals and special events or attractions. CIE Tours’ $550+ Advantage means everything is included, so you will not encounter unexpected costs for “extras.”
For more information, visit www.cietours.com/emeraldisle or call (800) 243-8687.
Wellness For Life
Posted: 1/7/2012
Making healthy choices can be even more rewarding than many people realize. (NAPSI)—Being health conscious has many benefits, and Aviva USA is making healthy choices even more rewarding for its life insurance customers through its Wellness for Life rider. The program is a unique enhancement to a life insurance policy in the form of an optional rider that can reduce out-of-pocket premium costs over time.
“Just as good drivers save money on their car insurance, we believe living a healthy lifestyle should generate savings on your life insurance premiums,” said Aviva USA senior vice president of product management Rhonda Elming. “Aviva’s innovative Wellness for Life program demonstrates we are a company that puts people before policies.”
Beyond saving dollars, the Wellness for Life program provides wellness benefits, resources and expertise to help policyholders manage their health. Participants in Wellness for Life receive exclusive benefits from the Mayo Clinic, such as access to a toll-free, around-the-clock nurse line to answer health-related questions and a personalized health management website with tools and information to help reduce and manage health risks.
The long-term savings can be substantial for Wellness for Life customers, and the program has been so popular, about 70 percent of Aviva’s eligible policyholders now purchase the $100 rider.
“Although the savings start small, the long-term implications are substantial for customers planning to invest for decades in a universal life policy,” said Claudette Gonzalez Klein, a Certified Financial Planner™ and owner of Klein Financial Services in Palo Alto, Calif. “Many of my clients have purchased the Wellness for Life benefit and, by adhering to the program’s simple guidelines, will realize insurance premium savings over the course of 30 years.
“For example, a 45-year-old nonsmoking woman could save about $1,000—that’s an enormous return on the one-time cost of just $100. It’s a great way for people to be rewarded for simply taking care of themselves and living a healthy lifestyle.”
The benefits of a healthy lifestyle can help customers feel better and live longer. When you couple that with the security a life insurance policy offers with reduced costs over time, it’s an attractive combination for consumers.
“Aviva understands our customers have individual needs, and we are committed to developing products to meet those needs,” Aviva’s Elming said.
For more information, log on to www.avivausa.com and click on the Wellness for Life tab.
What Makes a Successful Diet Plan?
Posted: 1/7/2012
Most mainstream diets are too complex or restrictive. (NewsUSA) - A low-calorie diet consisting solely of grapefruit, cabbage soup or weight-loss milkshakes will most likely cause you to lose weight, if strictly followed. But is it healthy? Not a chance.
Almost any diet plan will work for a while, yet up to 95 percent of dieters who lose weight fail to keep that weight off after just one year. According to Dr. Mike Moreno, author of the NY Times bestselling book "The 17 Day Diet," the two biggest obstacles that cause diets to fail are boredom and plateau. That's because most mainstream diets are too complex or restrictive, making it nearly impossible to stick with them for a long period of time.
Instead, Moreno emphasizes that weight loss that results in even the smallest changes in body composition can pay off with life-changing benefits. He encourages participants to measure their success, not just in pounds, but also by looking at the overall health benefits to include cholesterol, healthier blood sugar readings, and improved blood pressure.
As the founding physician behind BistroMD, the provider of the meal plan for "The 17 Day Diet," Dr. Caroline J. Cederquist, a bariatric physician and family practice physician, agrees that even something as small as a 5 percent decrease in weight loss is significant with regards to lowering the health risks associated with being overweight.
"In my medical practice, diabetic and overweight patients who achieve 5 percent weight loss often have lower blood sugar readings and also have improvements in their blood pressure," says Dr. Cederquist.
Moreno's "The 17 Day Diet" helps you lose weight with a cycled eating plan that alters the amounts of carbohydrates, proteins and fats you eat every few days. "We call it metabolic, or body, confusion," Moreno explains. Divided across four phases, each is designed to accomplish a different objective: burning fat, resetting the metabolism and teaching you proper portion control and hunger signs.
If you want to try The 17 Day Diet but don't want to cook, you can bring the meals from the popular book to your table by ordering The 17 Day Diet Meal Plan by BistroMD. For more information, visit www.The17DayDiet.com or call: (800) 464-1384.
Don’t Dumb it Down to Snag a Guy
By: Jane Atkinson
Recently, it was reported that Millionaire Matchmaker Patti Stanger’s advice was to “dumb it down” if you wanted to snag your man.
Really?
Is this what fabulous, intelligent women are reduced to these days…. games?
Ya, I’m gonna pass on the millionaire, Patti, especially if he’s looking for a vacuous bimbette to serve as arm candy.
And gentlemen, I would be surprised if you weren’t questioning this as well. If you’re going to spend the next 20, 30 or 40 years with someone, wouldn’t you like to have an intelligent conversation once in awhile?
FULL DISCLOSURE: On my path to finding my perfect partner, on many occasions I thought, “What am I doing wrong?” In sheer frustration, I’m pretty sure I might have tried something as ridiculous as dumbing it down.
Fortunately, it dawned on me right around my 40th birthday.
I wasn’t truly open to love; I was way too comfy and safe in my stylish little condo built for one. I had a successful consulting business, travel, great friends and family. The walls had gone up and even though I paid lip service to wanting true love, I really kept it at bay.
We’ve all heard that amazing Marianne Williamson quote, “Our deepest fear is not that we are inadequate. Our deepest fear is that we are powerful beyond measure.”
And fearful I was. I was playing small and safe in my little cocoon.
WHAT DO YOU WANT?
Intelligent ladies, I challenge you.
I challenge you to check in and ask yourself if you are playing small. What is it that you truly want?
I think after a while so many of us start to think, “I’m just going to be happy being by myself,” or “I had my one true love; that’s it for me.” And for those who are married to “the job,” let’s really think about that. Is the job going to come and visit you in the hospital when you’re 80? Ah, no!!!
And, you know, if you really are happy, then that’s cool. I do believe that it’s possible. But if you’re holding back out of safety, I challenge you to break free and really go for it.
LETTING GO: One of the final steps in my own journey was letting go. My girlfriend, Kris, was at the end of a harrowing divorce and she came up from Minnesota to join me at the lake for a chick’s weekend. We drank wine, made fabulous dinners and went out dancing every night. Our mantra was to have a great time with no attachments, to let go of old patterns.
So even though we were surrounded all weekend on the dance floor by a basketball team (a.k.a. The Tall Boys), we’d leave the bar by ourselves laughing all the way home. We never once thought, “I wonder if that guy likes me?” We stuck to the mantra despite an abundance of opportunity.
At the end of the weekend, we went down to the beach with a piece of paper, pen and barbeque lighter in hand. At sunset, we sat and wrote out what we wanted to let go of in our lives. A couple of the things on my list were “the comfort of being single” and “playing small in my life.” When our lists were done, we held a little ceremony, dug a hole in the sand, and burnt them.
GAME CHANGER: Once I gave myself permission to be the best version of me (intelligence and all) and to truly be open to love, I was liberated.
Two weeks later, I met my husband, John.
Did I marry a millionaire?
No, I didn’t. But I’ll tell you what, I feel like a million bucks every morning when I wake up and step into a life where I can be myself. And when my husband looks at me with love and respect, well, that’s just sweet, sweet icing on the cake.
Jane Atkinson is the author of The Frog Whisperer: A 3-Step Approach to Finding Lasting Love. For more information go to: www.frogwhisperer.com
30 Ways to Better Days: How to Rally After You’ve Been Dumped
By Caird Urquhart
Posted: 12/1/2011
Everyone has been there. It sucks. The heart ache and heart break of being dumped; the difficulty of getting out of bed each morning just wanting to stay in bed in fetal position crying; feeling helpless and alone; spending hours upon hours at the gym and not eating.
Business and life coach Caird Urquhart shares a very personal self-help guide teaching women how to use that grief, become proactive and bounce back to reality with 30 Ways to Better Days: How to Rally After You’ve Been Dumped.
Throughout the book, Caird shares the brutally honest truth of how to navigate through the gut-wrenching days of a breakup and apply little yet essential changes for daily growth. The book is in essence a tool -- even a best friend -- to let go of the anger and become optimistic about life and the endless possibilities in the world. It promises to raise self-esteem so one can overcome their fears and reach goals.
Speaking to everyone who has ever gone through a break up where they think they’ll never find someone again, 30 Ways to Better Days: How to Rally After You’ve Been Dumped covers such topics as:
Choosing to take control of the situation and not become a victim of it
- How to change dating patterns to avoid heartbreak
- Why grieving a breakup is important, and how to grieve
- Embracing change and leading to a better life
- Why befriending an old boyfriend can actually be a good thing
- How a gay male friend is an invaluable friend to have
Using the book as a tool to recover from her own heartbreak, Caird pours her heart and soul into this book, sharing her own personal experiences.
“It takes living through each season, each holiday, each ‘What were we doing at this time last year?’ to really clear your mind,” says Caird. “My book moves the reader out of feeling badly about their situation and into taking action to reclaim their lives.”
30 Ways to Better Days...How to Rally After You’ve Been Dumped is a self-help book aimed at women who have just gone through a relationship breakup. The chapters in the book are short and sweet and was written as an easy to read, no nonsense handbook with the intention of helping women of all ages lift their self-esteem and become empowered to move on.
With 18 years of experience in the film and television industry as a producer, casting director and actor, Caird became a personal and business coach. After graduating from The Coaches Training Institute and being accredited by the International Coaches Federation, she founded New Road Coaching Inc. in October of 2005.
Since then, Newroad has been working with entrepreneurs, executives, athletes and entertainers to help them achieve the big picture possibilities of their lives. Her hope as a coach is to be able to share the true magic of the entertainment industry; that dreams can become reality.
Caird lives in Toronto, Canada where she is the proud Aunt to ten nieces and nephews. She has a Bachelor of Arts Degree with majors in Psychology and Physical Education from Wilfred Laurier University. And is a member of the Canadian Association of Family Enterprise, Canadian Association of Women Executive and Entrepreneurs, Company of Women, Women in Film and Television, The Economic Club and The Empire Club of Canada.
30 Ways to Better Days...How to Rally After You’ve Been Dumped is available now at: www.newroadcoaching.com.
Secrets of a man’s heart revealed
What every woman hopes is in her man’s mind
Posted: 10/6/2011
MADISON, WI. – What woman wouldn’t want to see into the heart and soul of a man and find a deep, enduring love? What are those closely held thoughts and feelings underneath the surface of a man’s stoic exterior?
Blake Matthew James breaks the silence with his new book The Journal: Messages to Kara. Based on a true story, James takes the reader on a journey from a love at first sight meeting, through the many obstacles that fate throws his way, and the journal that he used to chronicle his feelings. Told from the male perspective, The Journal is an honest recount of a man’s innermost thoughts and feelings for the love of his life.
“We have all had a love that got away,” says James. “And this story may motivate others to find that person that meant so much to them.”
The character of Joe uses Facebook to locate his lost love, Kara, and reconnect with her after 17 years apart. What ensues is a very old tale of unrequited love, with the very modern tools of social networking and email influencing and changing the relationship.
“I believe that love can overcome all things if we are open to it,” says James. “It’s important to do whatever you can to be with the person that you love and show them you are willing to do what it takes to earn their respect and trust. That’s what I want readers to take away from this story.”
For more information, visit www.thejournalmessagestokara.com or on Twitter @bmjams
Available at: www.amazon.com and www.barnesandnoble.com
________
About the author Blake Matthew James has been everything from a truck driver to a comedian. Inspired by his first mentor, Smoky Jon Olsen, he became a comedian and managing partner at Smoky Jon’s #1 BBQ. While attending a Tony Robbins seminar, he shared his story with the group and was propelled into publishing The Journal.
Posted: 9/30/2011
Julia Cox says she’s found a way to smoother, more supple and youthful-looking skin at almost any age.(NAPSI)—Here’s a bright idea to help you save the skin you’re in: Stay out of the sun. Ultraviolet rays contribute to premature skin aging and even cancer.
What To Do
One way to help can be through the savvy use of sunscreen. Apply about a palmful of a water-resistant sunscreen with a sun protection factor of 15 or higher to your arms, legs, neck and face 30 minutes before going outside, no matter what the season or the weather. Reapply every two hours or more often if you have been swimming or perspiring.
More good news: You don’t have to look older than your years due to sun overexposure from years before.
Doctors’ Advice
The secret to healthy skin aging, dermatologists say, lies largely in the body’s ability to repair DNA—the complex molecules found in every cell that carry individual genetic “codes.” The condition of your DNA is essential to maintaining the healthy functioning of your body as you age. The body continually replaces cells in every organ, including the skin (the body’s largest organ), that have served their useful lives and no longer function. In a constant cycle of regeneration, new cells take the place of old cells. If the DNA “code” becomes damaged, however, the new cells will carry the same damage.
According to top skin care professionals, such as Noah S. Scheinfeld, M.D., FAAD, a Yale-educated, board-certified dermatologist, assistant clinical professor of dermatology at Columbia University Medical Center and author of numerous medical journal publications on dermatology, healthy DNA is one of the keys to avoiding the tell-tale signs of premature aging. “Dermatologists have established the link between excessive sun and DNA damage in skin cells,” states Dr. Scheinfeld. “The permanent effects of DNA damage to the skin—including hyper-pigmentation or brown spots, patches, premature lines and wrinkles and, in extreme cases, skin cancer—are clear,” he continues. “One obvious solution is to limit sun exposure and use sunscreen. But AC-11 may hold an additional answer.”
A Plant Has The Answer
Derived from a plant called Uncaria tomentosa found in the Amazon Rainforest, AC-11 is a safe, essentially alkaloid-free, all-natural, water-soluble extract that can be consumed orally or absorbed by the skin in a topical cream formula. Studies published in dermatology journals, including several by Dr. Scheinfeld, show that AC-11 measurably reduces DNA damage caused by non-oxidative stress (that is, overexposure to UV/solar rays), as well as oxidative stress (caused by free radicals and other factors such as chemical toxins, alcohol and tobacco). The dramatic, visible result is smoother, more supple and youthful-looking skin at almost any age.
How To Get It
To bring AC-11 to the public, Optigenex Inc., an applied biotechnology group and developer of the patented DNA care technology, partnered with bHIP Global, Inc., a leading supplier of health and beauty products. Under the name Activar, the company offers a line of intensive repair day, night and eye creams featuring AC-11 and an advanced blend of other scientifically proven skin care ingredients.
Also available is AIO Premium Cellular Heath, a unique, pleasant-tasting liquid dietary supplement containing AC-11 along with potent antioxidants and other key cellular health ingredients; and “Purple,” a wellness formula with AC-11 available in liquid form or convenient, dissolvable fruit-flavored “Vitality Strips.”
A Happy User
Julia Cox from San Diego, an Activar user for several years, is devoted to the product. “The day, night and eye creams work, and their quality is amazing,” she says. “They are easily the best formulas I have used at any price.”
Learn More
You can order the products from www.bhipglobal.com. Additional information about AC-11 technology, along with links to the peer-reviewed science and informational articles, is at www.optigenex.com.
Safely Sun Kissed
Posted: 9/30/2011
(NAPSI)—There are safer ways to achieve a sun-kissed glow than a tanning bed.
“Tanning is just a bad idea, especially indoor tanning, as the UV radiation is often 10 to 15 times stronger than that of the sun,” states dermatologist Darrell S. Rigel, a leading skin cancer expert.
Celebrity makeup artist Amy Oresman suggests some healthy ways to protect your skin and achieve that bronzed look:
• Apply a broad-spectrum sunscreen. Choose a sheer, lightweight product that layers easily under makeup and a waterlike formula that can be worn every day. Look for a formula with long-lasting, photo- stable UVA/UVB protection, such as Neutrogena’s Helioplex technology that has at least an SPF of 30.
• When choosing a facial bronzer, opt for a dermatologist-recommended brand such as Neutrogena. Healthy Skin Custom Glow Bronzer contains a triple antioxidant complex to enhance skin’s healthy look over time. For a naturally radiant look, blend the bronzer outwards on your cheekbones and sweep it lightly across the top of your nose. For even more glow, add a touch of bronzer to your temples and chin, too.
• Airbrush yourself. Professional airbrush tans can be pricey. “Avoid costly salon trips by using an at-home solution such as Neutrogena MicroMist Airbrush Sunless Tan,” says Oresman. This convenient, no-rub spray provides a streak-free, all-over glow.
Punta Cana Delivers Unforgettable Family Vacations
Posted: 9/30/2011
The Dominican Republic’s magnificent Punta Cana features top-rated accommodations, world-class golf courses, beautiful beaches and exciting ecotourism adventures. (NAPSI)—The Dominican Republic’s (DR) magnificent Punta Cana on the East Coast features top-rated accommodations, world-class golf courses, gorgeous beaches and exciting ecotourism adventures that will exceed the choosiest families’ expectations this summer. A recent www.TripAdvisor.com study found the biggest challenge for family vacations is finding a destination that offers activities for everyone.* Today, families seek a destination that has it all, and Punta Cana delivers.
“Punta Cana has something for every family member to explore, from luxurious spas, to a swim with dolphins, to challenging golf or relaxing beach time,” said Magaly Toribio, the DR Ministry of Tourism’s Vice Minister of International Promotion. “The captivating destination boasts sumptuous, all-inclusive resorts with family-friendly activities, warm hospitality and delicious cuisine that will suit every taste and budget.”
Travel is hassle-free with many direct flights to Punta Cana International Airport (PUJ), the region’s most modern and popular airport. Here are five reasons why you should whisk your family off to Punta Cana this summer:
Gorgeous beaches: Punta Cana was ranked as the 8th best beach destination in the world by TripAdvisor Travelers.* The area features public and private beaches, including “Blue Flag” European-certified beach Cabeza de Toro; surfing beach Uvero Alto; and parasailing-friendly beach Bávaro.
Unique culture: The DR amazes with sizzling culture and rich history culminating from Spanish, African and Taino Indian influence over six centuries. Experience the authentic Dominican way of life by visiting caves with ancient drawings by Taino Indians or learn to dance merengue and bachata at your resort.
Enchanting ecotourism: Families look for memorable vacation adventures they can do together, and Punta Cana’s eco adventures will satisfy any traveler. Kids can get up close and personal with nonpoisonous snakes or swim with the graceful dolphins at Dolphin IslandPark; take a walk in the Indigenous EyesEcological Park and see an exotic fruit-tree garden; or watch an animal entertainment show at ManatiPark.
Top-notch golf: Punta Cana boasts nearly a dozen magnificent golf courses designed by some of golf’s most acclaimed course architects. Set on dramatic coastlines, they provide golfers with exquisite scenery, challenging plays, and kid’s clinics so everyone will be sure to enjoy hitting the links.
Pocket friendly: TripAdvisor says 26 percent of parents with children plan to take their family vacation during the school year in order to save money, and 39 percent expect to spend more on family travel in 2011.* No need to do either if you jet off to Punta Cana, one of the most budget-friendly destinations. With a vast amount of all-inclusive resorts and numerous daily nonstop flights, Punta Cana is more pocket friendly and accessible than ever.
*Source: www.TripAdvisor.com
Proton Therapy Precisely Treats Hard-To-Reach Cancers
Posted: 9/30/2011
Molly Allen turned to proton therapy when she was diagnosed with large B-cell non-Hodgkin’s lymphoma.(NAPSI)—With a cancer diagnosis, it’s important to consider the size of the tumor and the location in the body when researching treatment options. Deep-seated tumors and those near or within critical organs like the esophagus, lungs and heart require powerful treatment but also can be more sensitive to radiation exposure. For many cancer patients facing these challenges, proton therapy is an option.
Proton therapy uses a beam of protons to deliver a powerful dose of radiation directly into the tumor. The precision of the beam limits exposure to healthy tissue and reduces the risk of short- and long-term side effects, allowing most patients to continue with their active lifestyle even during treatment.
The ability to limit radiation to healthy tissue and maintain her usual routine as a busy mom was imperative to 39-year-old Molly Allen when she was diagnosed with large B-cell non-Hodgkin’s lymphoma in 2008.
When Molly, a mother of four, developed a cough while on vacation with her family, she didn’t think too much of it.
“When you’re a mom, it’s all about putting your kids first. Sometimes, keeping up with your health gets shifted to the bottom of the list,” she said.
But when the cough persisted for four weeks, she decided it was time to see her doctor. Molly was confident it was just a minor infection, but her physician ordered a chest X-ray that revealed a large mass near her lung. Her physician immediately ordered a CT scan and referred her to a pulmonologist.
Molly’s scan showed a tumor the size of a golf ball in her chest cavity. She was scheduled for a second scan two weeks later, and by then the mass had doubled in size. It continued to grow to the size of a grapefruit before Molly could begin chemotherapy. After six rounds of chemo the tumor shrank, but Molly was advised to undergo further treatment with radiation.
A friend sent her information on proton therapy, and due to the location of her tumor, highly recommended she look into it.
“Many lymphomas occur in the chest near vital organs, such as the heart, lungs or esophagus, so it can be difficult to get the high doses of radiation needed to the tumor without causing damage to those sensitive areas,” explained James D. Cox, M.D., professor of Radiation Oncology at MD Anderson. “With proton therapy, we create individualized treatment plans to precisely target even the most difficult-to-reach tumors, like lymphomas and cancers of the lung and esophagus, while minimizing the damage to healthy tissues and vital organs.”
After her consultation with Dr. Cox, Molly’s decision was made. She sought treatment at the MD Anderson Proton Therapy Center in Houston where she spent four weeks—a decision she credits with eliminating her cancer and allowing her to continue to be with her family during treatment.
“I got to be home with my kids,” she said. “I wasn’t separated from them at all through this. I went to my treatment appointment at the Proton Therapy Center and then continued living my life on my terms.”
In January 2009, Molly completed her last round of proton therapy and returned home to her normal routine, enjoying time with her husband and children, taking them to Little League and soccer games, and walking the family’s two dogs. During a recent follow-up visit to the MD Anderson Proton Therapy Center, Molly’s scans showed no signs of cancer.
“Part of being well means I’m back to my busy life,” she said.
To learn more about the MD Anderson Proton Therapy Center, visit www.mdandersonproton.com.
Is the Economy Killing Fatherhood?
Advocate Reveals Ways to Be A Better Father in Trying Times
Posted: 9/29/2011
Tom Watson knows what it’s like not to have time to spend with your kids.
"It used to sting me when I was working hard at building my business and I’d hear my kids talking about me," he said. "One would ask the other to see if I had time to play with them, and the other would tell him not to bother, because he knew I’d be too busy. It was like a knife in my heart. With the economy as tight as it is, I know that I’m not the only father with the same issue. These days, many fathers are either unemployed and working hard to find work or they are working two jobs or more just to make ends meet. Either they don’t have much time for family, or they just aren’t in the mood for family because they are despondent or feeling helpless as a provider."
But, it doesn’t have to be that way, according to Watson, author of the autobiographical Man Shoes: The Journey to Becoming a Better Man, Husband & Father (www.manshoes.net). Watson’s tips for dads in a tough economy include:
Share Time
Don’t spend time with your kids, because that term makes it sound like you are giving away time that you could be using for other things. Share time with them, because sharing indicates that you both get something out of that time. It’s important for your kids to know that you aren’t paying attention to them out of obligation, but rather, because you need to be with them as much as they need to be with you.
Make a Schedule
Stability and security are important to kids, so set up a time every week that is just for them, and do your best to make that time on your calendar immovable. Give them something they can look forward to on a regular schedule and it will show them how important they are to you and help you build a trusting relationship with them.
A Little Time is Better Than None
If you’re working two jobs or work out of town and commute home on the weekends, they will understand if you don’t have a lot of time to spend. Even if you can only block out a couple of hours every week, that can be enough. As long as you keep to the schedule and don’t let them down, that time will be as valuable as if you spent the entire weekend with them.
Don’t Plan Big
Parents who work a lot sometimes feel guilty about neglecting their kids, and they cater to that guilt by making big plans with their kids on a regular basis. They feel that doing something lavish and expensive will somehow be seen as a payback to their kids for not seeing them often. The pitfall is that the bigger the plan, the bigger the expectation. The truth is, kids don’t care. You don’t have to spend a lot of money or make big plans all the time. It could be as simple as going to the park to fly kites and eating a brown bag lunch together, and most kids would be happy with that.
"Life is a choice and the person you choose to be is in your control. No matter the hand you may have been dealt, there are no excuses," Watson added. "I grew up as an orphan and I acted out a lot, because I lacked the guidance of a family until I was finally adopted," he said. "And even when I found stability with my adoptive parents, the Watsons, it took some time for me to settle down. Having shoes on my feet, clothes on my back and food on the table were all good things, but it wasn’t those things that soothed me as a child. It was the time, love and attention I received from the Watsons that put me back on course and that’s what every child needs. While it may seem to some that working hard to provide for their families is their primary responsibility as a father, that’s just not so. Children are adaptable and can do without material things more easily than they can do without the love and attention of their parents. If my experience meant anything to me, it showed me that it takes more to be a dad than to just bring home the bacon. It’s not enough to just do for your children – you have to be with them, too."
_________
Tom Watson is a survivor of child abuse, upheaval and 13 foster homes, so he learned how to overcome adversity at an early age. Later in life, Tom was faced with heartbreaking tragedies which threatened to destroy him. He drew from previous life lessons to persevere and show that new beginnings are possible at any age or stage of life - no matter what obstacles get in the way. These principles and their applications are chronicled in his new book Man Shoes: The Journey to Becoming a Better Man, Husband & Father (www.manshoes.net).
CYBER RELATIONSHIPS … REAL, FANTASY, OR JUST A WAY OUT?
By Amanda Strong
Posted: 8/13/2011
After an exhausting day, all you want to do is put your feet up and spend time with the person you care about the most … and then your spouse walks into the room. Upon their arrival, you close your computer hoping you don’t appear too startled to raise suspicion. Sharing intimate details of your life on Facebook with someone else probably wouldn’t go over so well with your significant other. Your relief is temporary, because this will likely become a reoccurring theme when you continue to “network” with that special person.
This deception happens every day when a person decides to carry on an affair, especially one where social media plays a prime role. With over 700 million users on Facebook alone, many of those ask themselves, “am I crossing the line?” when they carry on with another “friend” either new or old.
Things become foggy when you’re consistently tempted to look up an ex or confirm a friend who may not be the greatest choice to allow back into your life. The lines begin to blur and lies turn into infidelity. Before becoming just another statistic, ask yourself these three questions:
IS THE RELATIONSHIP REAL? Cyber relationships are tricky. Either you begin to correspond or communicate with someone after a reconnection or you meet someone entirely new. This excitement or newness resembles the easier days without responsibilities, work, and children. You feel special from all the attention solely focused on you, swept away with the thought of a less complicated life.
The reality may be difficult to swallow when you realize that the person you make that connection with a. may not be the person you thought you knew or b. turns out to be very similar to the person you’re currently with when the fun times fade and reality slaps you in the face. Social networking hands you the opportunity to be anyone you want to be. Someone living in a fantasy may not grasp the impact on their family and themselves. Their new relationship is real to them, but could it be masked by all the hype that surrounds social networking. When you take away Facebook, and you’re just one on one, can you look at the person and feel your new reality will stand the test of time?
WHAT IS LIFE LIKE? Lonely or feeling like you want more out of life? Vulnerability, mixed with the ease of connecting (or reconnecting) with people, is a recipe that may derail one’s path. A person may feel they’re receiving more support from a friend than a spouse. This attention sometimes leads to a tighter bond with your social media “friend” than the person you sleep next to at night. But is this new relationship based on finding the support, more so than the person giving it?
Sometimes the relationship is not about the attraction or compatibility but the needed strength to get out of a difficult or lonely situation. Ask yourself, are you using this new relationship as an out? Do you truly believe this person will be around in six months? Be honest with yourself with where you are in life, and why you’ve pursued another relationship in the first place.
WHY TAKE THE RISK? Some people are going to cheat, whether facilitated by cyber relationships or not. Others may look for their ex and get into trouble pursuing the past or innocently be struck out of the blue with a connection they never thought would happen. Are you impulsive and want to just go for it? Have you thought about the consequences and decided to cross the line anyway? Ask yourself, are you risking your marriage or relationship because you found a more exciting and passionate person; think this is your soul mate; or feel this is your way out of your current situation?
Even if you get wrapped up in the hype and the temptation seems too much to handle, there’s always that split second before you post something or encourage communication when you know you shouldn’t. Your actions could destroy the ones you love and change your life completely. Ask yourself, why would I choose to face those consequences? If you deal with the truth before you cross the line, you may save yourself from making a huge mistake.
Couples are now citing Facebook on their divorce papers as one of the reasons their marriage fell apart. Can social media be blamed for giving everyone such an easy tool to cheat? Words of advice, be honest with yourself, because your decisions are yours, and only yours, to make.
Social networking sites aren’t losing sleep over your choices, that job is solely your responsibility.
____________
Amanda Strong graduated from Ithaca College with a degree in Televison/Radio and is the author of the highly acclaimed new book, With Just One Click, the first of its kind about the complexity of Facebook relationships.
What happens to the 'we' in relationships?
Posted: 7/13/2011
What happened to the "we" in our relationship? Relationships will disintegrate over time if not worked on. Relationships grow up or they go down. At the same time, relationships don't get us to feeling like an 8 out of 10; congruence and loving oneself does. Being an 8 without someone is better than being a 4 with someone!
All this and more comes from Dan Rosin, Ph.D., 30-year counselor. Dr. Rosin has just released a new book based on 30 years of counseling real patients.
"Partners need to learn to see their differences as strengths; otherwise, too much time and energy are wasted on trying to change the other person," says Dr. Rosin. "We spend inordinate amounts of communication time trying to convince people that the way we see the world is the correct way, and they can benefit only from accepting that simple and true fact. Such a dogmatic perception of the truth often leads to power struggles, conflict and misscomunication."
"Finding Balance: 101 Concepts for Taking Better Care of Self" is an easy-to-read, practical guide to help women decide where they are in life, where they want to be, and how to get there.
Visit DRCounseling.com
‘America’s Marriage Coach’ Offers Secrets to Marital Success and Longevity
Amid wedding season, marital relationship expert Dr. Jacqueline Del Rosario available to discuss methods that foster strong and enduring unions; Expert offers tips for maximizing marital interaction, getting a troubled marriage back on track, managing out-of-bounds in laws, and other ‘spousal survival’ subjects
MIAMI, FL – Marriages fall by the wayside every day because couples lack the fortitude to withstand inevitable marital conflict and seasonal maturation. Even the first few so-called “honeymoon years” can be more like “boot camp” fraught with anxiety, tension and battles as two independent lives attempt to merge into one harmonious alliance. This is among the reasons nearly one-third of all marriages fail within the first 5 years, and between one-half and two-thirds end in divorce, according to published reports.
“The consequences of separation and divorce can be severe, including increased rates of psychopathology, physical illness, suicide, homicide, violence, and mortality from disease,” notes nationally regarded Certified Marriage Counselor and family strengthening expert Dr. Jacqueline Del Rosario. “Given the greater risk for mental and physical health problems proven among separated and divorced individuals, identifying factors that help marriages survive, and thrive, has important, even life-and-death implications.”
With wedding season now underway, Dr. Del Rosario, CEO of Recapturing the Vision International - an organization promoting healthy marriages, is available to discuss these and all other wedded relationship topics:
- How to know you’ve found the right “marriage mate”
- Is pre-marital counseling worthwhile?
- Guidelines for maximizing marital interaction
- Identifying and working through non-negotiable, make-or-break issues with your spouse
- How to align each partner’s expectations
- How to successfully divide and conquer: identifying roles and negotiating chores in day-to-day life
- Managing out-of-bounds in laws – how to keep the peace and your integrity. Is it ever OK to sever ties?
- Family meddling – Establishing rules for family influence on your marriage
- Strategies for couples dealing with financial strain
- How to ensure problems at home don’t adversely impact professional endeavors
- Putting out fires: three tips to getting your marriage back on track
- Emotional cheating – warning signs and how to recover
- Preventing infidelity – how to stop affairs before they start
- Rebuilding trust in your relationship after an affair
- Clear signs indicating it’s time for marriage counseling
- What makes a good marriage counselor, and how to find one that’s right for you
- Is divorce ever an acceptable outcome?
___________
About the Expert“America’s Marriage Coach” Jacqueline Del Rosario, M.Ed is President and CEO of Recapturing the Vision International, an organization dedicated to promoting healthy marriages and family strengthening. A certified marriage counselor, published author, and media personality, Mrs. Del Rosario is an expert on “what it takes” to make relationships work. Her cutting-edge marriage coaching series, Marriage Solutions and The Marital Constitution™, help couples work through problems and find healthy solutions in support of her vision to break generational cycles of dependency that have crippled so many families.
Dr. Del Rosario also serves as the official marriage coach for Executive 50 (www.nationalexec.org), a 501(c)3 non-profit organization focused on Executive Leadership Development. Based on the belief of Dr. Eric Walton, CEO of Executive 50, that professional development and success starts at home, Dr. Del Rosario has been engaged to help the organization’s mid to high-level corporate executive membership base foster healthy and stable marriages and, in kind, maximize quality and productivity at work.
A former educator and tireless champion for America’s children, Dr. Del Rosario is constantly breaking new ground as the author of youth-centered curricula and workbooks and the producer of positive teen-centered media. She also serves as a motivational speaker both nationally and internationally.
Dr. Del Rosario has earned numerous awards and accolades, including 2003 Humanitarian of the Year from the National Abstinence Clearinghouse, and a state-designated “Vessels of Honor Day” in recognition of her stellar work around teen pregnancy prevention. In 2004 Ms Del Rosario was nominated to the President’s Advisory board on HIV/AIDS, and has received special recognition from former Florida Governor Jeb Bush. For her accomplishments Dr. Del Rosario has also received the Key to the City of both Opa Locka and Miami-Dade County, Florida.
A formidable voice in family strengthening and community building, Dr. Del Rosario continues to work tirelessly to pave the way for social reform, a new mindset and - most importantly - lighting the path towards an enriched life. Dr. Del Rosario resides in Miami with her husband of 20 years and their two sons.
Learn more online at www.doctordelrosario.com.
Faith kept her alive
Author’s tells story of spouse’s loss and how she survived
Posted: 6/25/2011
SUMMERLAND, British Columbia – Bitter darkness, disappointment and solitude were Sue Doble’s companions after her husband was diagnosed with a brain tumor that took his life.
In her new book, Don’t Tell Me It’s Okay, Doble shares the deeply personal story of discovering that her soul mate and husband of 40 years had an inoperable brain tumor and had only weeks to live. From telling their family and friends the news to finding a way to survive after the loss, Doble’s story is heart wrenching and achingly honest. She questioned her faith and a God that could take so much from her. Ultimately, she was able to recover herself and her life through her strong faith and belief that she will be reunited with her husband again.
“George was the love of my life and the loss of him nearly destroyed me,” says Doble. “If it was not for God’s goodness, I do not know what would have become of me.”
Don’t Tell Me It’s Okay chronicles the days leading up to and the year after George Doble’s death. With quoted Scripture, poems and email conversations, readers experience this intensely painful time through Sue’s eyes. In her darkest moments, she contemplates taking her life, but sees that through God’s love, she can find the light once again.
“I want to help other widows and widowers know that there is hope, even though the road is long and painful,” Doble says. “And I want to educate others about caring for a grieving person because they will need everyone around them, not just in the first weeks, but for the months and years after the loss.”
Available at www.amazon.ca, www.chapters.indigo.ca, amazon.com and barnesandnoble.com
|
